Manual Love, Marriage, and the Onion Heads

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SANDY SPRINGS, GA–At the urging of loved ones and their marital of communication between them, bringing their year marriage to an end. in the fact that they were able to confront their marital difficulties head-on.
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I know at least one of the former Onion writers was diagnosed as such also actually, I wouldn't be surprised if a number have been. I thought the article was hilarious. If people can't see the grains of truth to it or the humor It's well known that parents of autistic children have an especially high divorce rate, and it's also well known that many couples with relationship difficulties try to "fix" their relationship by having a baby never a good idea.

The Onion is simply playing off the latter fact by using the former. It's funny and some people could probably stand to lighten up. Jeremy March 12, at I have a son with Autism and I think it was funny. I have seen disfunctional,unstable couples conceive a child thinking that it will help thier marriage People have such self centered motives and don't concider what could happen. That story just depicts what could happen if that child is born with Autism.

Carisa March 10, at I actually think it's a stupid piece , but perhaps they picked autism as an example because it's so much in the news these days. Anybody with any common sense knows that a child doesn't save a marriage-altho we know many try it. I once wrote a poem about the same subject-perhaps more interesting than this piece that really tells us nothing new.

Maurine Meleck March 08, at Jenny Webster March 08, at But not as funny as other onion articles. The one that was kinda funny re: The best was an article about a woman getting cancer and her office mates basically ignoring her. Kristine March 08, at I didn't think that the Onion's piece was broadly drawn enough to qualify as satire. It sounds too much like what some nasty people are writing as online propaganda. I found it vile. Lin March 07, at Thanks to my father's example I am normally the kind of person who looks for the humor in anything and everything, but when it comes to autism I can't find any humor whatsoever, except for my grandson's quicky antics which continually makes me laugh.

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But as for the political and pharmaceutical corruptions and profit margin aspects of autism, the tragedies brought into marriages and families, including divorce and financial ruin, I can't see where any of this is the least bit funny. Then again, I am progressively finding it harder to see "the sunny side of life" when I am continually faced with the reality of autism in the bigger picture. The entire scenario, especially the vaccine conspiracies, originates in a very evil place. Yes it is nothing short of EVIL. I used to believe that drugs, both legal and illegal, were the greatest single cause of devestations to individuals and families, but now I see the origination of physical health and mental health devestation in the innocent babies and children being exposed to vaccines, antibiotics, Tylenol, psychiatric drugs, food additives, environmental chemicals virtually everywhere The health damages, and damages to the children's ability to learn, the behavioral effects, the stress all of this produces in families, often ending in divorce.

Yes indeed Satan and all of the angels from the dark side are very real, evidenced in so many ways in our world today Therefore, I conclude, the CDC's head honcho, chief exectutive officer, is satan himself. He, who is the liar of all, and who spews evil and misery and disease on all the earth.

He who motivates mankind to be as miserable as he. He, who makes toxic poisonous crap and then calls it good and lifesaving another satanic tool. See it for what it is people Families are the root and design of why we are here. Nothing would make "HIM" more happy than the bust that up, make us swerve to the side of the road, and never get back on track again. Oh what a delicious way for him to reign over families?

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Next time you think of this image, think of how this is not of God, but of Satan. Next time we are confronted by his minions who tell us vaccines don't cause autism, or the environment, think of how mankind has done a wondeful job of listening to this CEO, performing evil designs, sins of ommission and commission, oft by the love of money and power Autism Grandma March 07, at I don't think the following phony news bit is funny. I don't expect the Onion will either. Too distracted by editors' exhortations to poke fun at parents who can't accept the genetic lottery, once-twenty-something Onion staffers continued to get flu shots and then vaccinated their subsequent children on the CDC recommended schedule.

The Onion Reeks In Attempt to Use Autism as Part of Marriage Joke - AGE OF AUTISM

Fired from the Onion for failure to attend mandatory Tuesday meetings due to his severely disabled twins' near fatal seizure disorders, Jorgensen attempted to go back to school for insurance underwriting but was forced to drop out when his wife developed a nerve disorder from swine flu shots. He now works for in an auto parts emporium part time and cares for his twins and ailing spouse. But autism isn't just inconvenient.

It's hell in a bucket. Moira Roberts, former student writer agrees. I mean, it's no the cleanest place so, like, it says a lot that they thought I was rank but you can't plan that stuff. And I started wanting to do all this satire on vaccines and Tylenol and mercury pollution and the editor was like 'That's not funny. Quit bawling and get with the program'". Moira, since diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder brought on by 3 years of sleep deprivation, filed suit against the school system when her autistic son was injured last year in a restraint incident.

The school has counter sued and Ms. Roberts may lose her home Gatogorra March 07, at All I read was another cheap shot; no different than an Amy Wallace type article. Perhaps it my frame of mind, but it just seems to pile on more insulting, demeaning garbage to a can that is overflowing with an overwhelming amount of injustice.

I can totally relate to the humor in the GFCF "diet"! My son's preschool teacher nearly fainted when the class was cooking and decorating sugar cookies for a teacher's birthday which they were supposed to be allowed to eat afterward. After he was done decorating, my son handed it to the teacher and said "I don't eat this.

JessicaF March 07, at I have to admit I did find one thing in this that hit home and gave me a chuckle. When one of the parents claimed that the other side of the family did have something wrong going on. BUT it is hard not to when my husband's brother calls and after he says hello, it is up to me to play 20 question game to see how he is, how is his family, how is work, what has he called for. Then there is my husband's sister and her three of her four boys.

Kim the Stag has nothing on her. If I had not witnessed the reaction to the vaccines in my family - I would believe it was genetic. BUT anytime it takes an environmental trigger to give a kid a stroke well as far as I am concerned it is not genetic. Benedetta March 07, at I used to like some stuff in the Onion but I have no real loyalty to comic books.

Justifying it under the category of black humor-- hmmm. I'm a big fan of black humor. Here's a few samples:. The blacker the humor, the more important it is not to shoot fish in a barrel or attack the weak though. I particularly don't like the invitation by the "joke" article to engage in shadenfreude towards families who I might not think are committed enough to their injured kids. It's an ugly temptation. I may laugh at Alison Singer, for instance, but I don't find anything funny about her parenting-- as she drugs her daughter to kingdom come, uses the child as human shield to rake in cash as a pharma-friendly spin meister.

It's ironic that she then attempts to block access to recovery methods for all children-- but the fact that she once said she thought about driving off the G. Washington bridge with her daugher in the car?

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Not that the Onion was coming from that critical perspective anyway. It's pretty clear with the propagandistic touch of "The doctors are constantly telling us that it's not anyone's fault"-- that's supposed to represent the one "voice of reason" to set off the parents' irrationality. But what if the epidemic isn't no-fault? Are thalidomide babies' parents on the chopping block as well? Also, the premise is that autism parents are wrongly made PC-precious and untouchable, which would make the irreverence "fresh". But the truth is that it's open season on autism families and mischaracterizations or generalizations simply add to the fatwa-- as parents can't get services, insurance, respite, even the most basic safety protections for their kids.

All the stereotypes simply feed into public and official rationalizations to leave our kids to rot. London Times reporter Brian Deer: Certainly a lot better explanation than MMR". Then there's the hundreds of deaths of children from school abuse which Rep. Guess I have a dark sense of humor. And I appreciate a little bit of our world with all its stresses being part of some humor, even in this way. But I do wonder about the child being named Evan.

It seems to me that there has been some anti-biomed humor in the Onion at times. I wish I could find an Onion article from a few years ago where a special ed troop was being deployed to fight in a war. Very funny, in a dark way, and you could tell that the author had experience with modified curriculum etc. Twyla March 07, at Funny, autism has actually made our marriage stronger? We truly depend on one another to get through it, and with God's help we will.

That said, I know it wears you down, it makes mothers less able to live a more than fruitful healthy longer life, and fathers are left to working their brains out all the days of his life trying to pay for biomed treatments. Sure, we don't experience the same things as our civilian non autism friends. But, we are making it, somehow, someway. But the context is interesting Next time we are confronted by his minions who tell us vaccines don't cause autism, or the environnment, think of how mankind has done a wondeful job of listening to this CEO, performing evil designs, sins of ommission and commission, oft by the love of money and power Sorry to get so religious on you, after all, it is the sabbath I just want to leave you with that image?

Then when you see WHY this is such an impressive tool, turn to your husband or wife, and tell them you love them for staying with me and my child, and that we will fight against this adversary. Pray everyday for strength and courage, and debunk all the myths and lies you were told in the medical world. That said, a weak marriage going into marriage is not going to be strengthened by autism.

But it can be strengthened if you tackle it together as if it were your most evil common enemy. If you find undissolved sugar in the bottom of your teacup, someone has a crush on you. Spilling some tea while preparing it, is another lucky omen, whilst spilling tea while carrying the teapot means a stranger is to visit soon. You should also try to slurp your noodles up without breaking them, for longevity.

There are also many superstitions around chopsticks: However, if you want to steer away from bad luck, keep in mind to never cut a banana, as cutting brings bad luck. Some people also believe that anyone who carelessly throws away a banana skin will die a painful death — this belief will hold some truth for anyone who has had the misfortune to slip on a banana peel and suffer nasty injuries after the fall. Bananas are a very bad omen for seamen and you should never try to take a banana on board a ship.

Another possible reason for their perceived bad luck is that many vessels that were lost at sea in the s had bananas on board. Each grape symbolises a different month of the New Year. If a grape tastes sweet, it means that that specific month will be a good one, if a grape tastes sour, that particular month will be a bad one. Grapes are also a symbol of abundance and a variation on the 12 grapes at midnight tradition is to try and eat as many grapes as you can at midnight.

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The more grapes you can eat, the more abundance you will have in the New Year. However, bear in mind that you should spit out the seeds while eating a grape. If you love someone and you want him to love you back, give him an orange. Eating peaches will give you wisdom. A peach is also supposed to bring you a long life and to keep evil away.

When it is time to harvest the apples, it is considered bad luck to leave one apple on the tree after the rest have been picked. You might not realise it, but throwing rice, confetti or rose petals at weddings has a long superstitious tradition — it was believed that rice would appease evil spirits so they would not harm the wedding couple. Throwing rice was meant to bring happiness, fertility, wealth and prosperity to the newly-wed couple. Spilling rice all over the table is also a definite taboo, as this will cause your mind to become polluted.

This tradition originates from an old Jewish custom to eat black-eyed peas in celebration of the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah. As black-eyed peas are an inexpensive and modest food, it is also believed that people who eat them will show their humility and save themselves from the wrath of heavens because of the vanity that they might otherwise have.

In the US the black-eyed peas can be eaten in many different ways, and some people add a coin to the dish — the person who gets the coin in their serving gets extra good luck for the coming year.

Halwyn Herrmann predicts future with an onion, table salt

The Greeks celebrated the birthday of Artemis, the goddess of the moon, with moon-shaped honey cakes with candles on top. It was believed that bad spirits were attracted by celebrations. Today we still have candles on our birthday cakes. Make a wish before you blow out the candles. The real crazy cat people. Feeling powerless leads to paranoia.